k i completely screwed up my performance class yesterday but i didnt feel like talking about it yesterday. peformance class is like when the principal of the studio has to hear you and when theres so much tension that u can hear everyone's heart beating like a flabby frog bouncing on a gong. so i go there and she's scolding the group before me and i just freak out cos normally i just choing practising immediately after i come home. so i practised for like 2 bloody hours straight. and inside is so damn cold and then u got goosebumps and these tingly shit in your spine (i dunno wats its called) so then i just walked in and everyone was freaking out so i freaked out too. then she released them and came to my group. i hav no idea why she likes my group so much. probably cos there are all these cute small kids taking the exam. btw she has like 5 kids lor. so most of them are quite good and then she says "jonathan" and thats it! BOOM and my heart kind of like dieded. ive done this like millions of times and ive never been so freaked out in my life. i dunno y so i jsut went up to the piano.

She: uh play your scales... [talks with someone beside her while im freaking out]
Me: like which one?
She: oh um... [flips] F flat melodic minor
Me: uh ok
[then i screwed up a bit but it wasnt too bad]
She: arppegios uh dominant 7th [something i cant remember]
[i played that fine too with some slips]
She: ok u can start your pieces

k by then i was like dying liao. i had never felt so much piss in my bladder. i just went to the toilet before it lor and now my bladder was bursting. i played my first song and it felt like my fingers went numb? i dunno the feeling. like i was so nervous that i didnt feel anything. then i kept on making so many bloody errors which i normally dont. i mean ive played that song 1 billion gazillion times without thinking and now im struggling to remember wat note is next and im screwing up cos my fingers are liek screwed.

Me: [suddenly stop playing] i cant do it! i dont know wat is wrong wiht me today. can i like come back and play later?
She: y wats wrong? air-con too cold? nah i ask my daughter help you lower aircon
Me: dont need lah
She: piano too slippery arh?
Me [wiping piano with shirt]: yah but its got to do with my pee. i relli need to go to the toilet.

SHE STARTS LAUGHING LIKE SHE HAS NEVER LAUGHED BEFORE! i mean like wts i bet this is the first time she has seen a student screw up so bad and then now he wants to piss and shes laughing as though its so damn funny while im freaking out there. but i dont mind. i was surprised she didnt scold me. so then i went to the toilet and when i came back, a few more kids played and then she said i didnt need to play anymore. i prayed damn hard in the toilet AND SHE DIDNT EVEN SCOLD ME! i still cant believe it cos she is relli fierce. i think im going to hav a nervous breakdown...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:34 PM