woot. im damn happy. weeks of hard work has payed off with our super ownage pro chaoji damn zai performance. it was perfect. i mean perfect.

before it started, we had done numerous rehearsals and each rehearsal kept on getting better. however, joel still did not hav a sexy dress yet. i mean matthew was so hot that ben was in love with him? thats so wrong. ben is supposed to be in love with joel. so i was considering buying him a top and skirt with $20+ left over from the mov funds bbudden nige said his sister could lend him something. and so joel got a denim dress. wow. super tight fitting and it was perfect. so i got him a polo shirt and shorts. the night before, i was panicking like crazy and was calling pple for 3 hours. and i decided to add a part. the rewind part was horrendous. i mean i didnt even realise when they were rewinding. and the accident scene didnt seem real. so we got new sounds and a signboard with rewind and play buttons. but we needed someoen to run across the stage. no one brought any extra clothes. and thankfully i brought extra clothes jsut in case so i got ken to do it. and so everything was rush and with the pressure of pro plays like 2K and 2L, i panicked.

and then the day itself, after our last rehearsal, every got freaked out. yuhsuen was damn nervous. so we had music and he was playing guitar and he was frustrated that he couldnt change chords fast enough cos he was so nervous. and everyone was so solemn. like BOOM quiet. as we walked back to class after music, we passed by a mercs and a jaguar. and then!!!! someone pointed out, FORESHADOWING. yup a jag and a mercs. lol ben said it was a good omen. and everyone was so bloody quiet and just as all of us walked into the class, everyone started shouting their hearts out. like LOUD! singing "i'd rather be a hammer than a nail, i'd rather be a sparrow then a snail" and they just kept on singing it till their voice went sore. and then we panicked cos we suddenly remembered our play. and then we saw ms chia with this new hairdo. and some parents came. and i was looking pale. and then everyone just went quiet again.

we watched 2M's play. it was... uh enlightening? they were quite funny, talking about online dating. about friendster and adult friend finder and there were 3 suitors looking for this girl. and OMG earnest and shing bo, they were females and they used balloons for thier breasts. it was super sick. eww but they looked funny. and so joel kek was this super strong guy who liked woman for money, thomas was this poser who like woman for their beauty and kengyong was the guy who wanted just love. so it was rather funny with mark acting as some hen-pecked gangster. lol. but they made quite a few mistakes like the computer monitor suddenly dropped down... so it was a morale booster for our class. no offence 2M.

and we were up next. pressure. i was rather flustered cos we had 2 groups on different sides. so i sent nige to the other side. omg our play was beyond words. yh and chester were amazing. i bet if got talent scout, they sure go to hollywood. or at least bollywood. well they were just so pro. ben was good too and when he forgot his lines, he followed my trick. look down to the ground like u are the saddest person in the world. and he did it and it worked! no one noticed he forgot his lines. and so everyone did perfect. the cueing was on time, and i was so impressed by yh. but they didnt get the "bomb" part. i think they thot that yh screwed up by saying "bomb" instead of "bond". zzz. the judges were super impressed. and christina helped us a lot. and then suddenly during the oral presentation, they go ask me to come to stage. i was like wth? then i went down and they asked me how i did the script and i was jsut like.

me: actually, uh actually we actually came up with the script, actually it was actually like a prose. wait actually...
audience: laugh laugh [what a loser! he doesnt even know how he came up with the script. and he said like 6 actuallys?]

diao. i was nub. then 2Q's play came up. i thot they were going to be super pro. i was rather disappointed. they quoted like the entire playwrite except for changing some lines. i was like... uh i thot they would do some adaptation or at least some action. but u hav to admit, they got a boring scene. not like ours where we could manipulate it. so they had ladida music and set and benches and the acting was quite good, but it just didnt interest most of us. however i must say it was good acting....

zzz im happy! ladidadidoo...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 4:33 PM

promethean days ended today with us facing the flag poles doing a cheer. thats just wrong. we had JUST finished our school anthem when the new ccals started doing the cheer and we were facing the wrong way lol.

during science, we watched this documentary. everything looked like it was a painted picture. and it was about apes. like the orang utan which bathes itself, the chimps which took a few years to learn how to smash nut shells and so u see monkeys doing stuff that u never knew they could do. and there is this freaky group of chimps who are almost are male. i mean yucks! they groom each other, like u know *smooch* then *uses hands to move hair* then *smooch*. uh grooming looks wrong male to male. and they fite each other to the death when they ostracize one guy. and then the hunting part is the freakiest. they practise monkeynabilism. the go prey on smaller monkeys from some other tribe and they just eat the captured monkeys raw. and then they rip out some meat and give to the others.

and i finally understand y Africa wins all the long distance running. this is not racist. they literally train everyday. in the documentary, there is this tribe which practises a certain type of hunting. they hunt deer. and no they dont use laser guns or drive jeeps. they hunt on foot. and its relli cool to watch them hunt. first they pick the deer with the heaviest antlers. then they go split it away from its deer tribe. and so the hunt goes on and the deer knows it is being hunted so it just runs and runs. and the hunters send their best stamina guy to go chase. this is amazing. the guy chases the deer for 8 hours! AND HES RUNNING ALL THIS TIME! thats damn pro. so hes tracking and running for 8 hours! thats at least like tens of km. in the burning hot sun. the sun was so damn hot that when he poured water on his face u could hear the sizzle. so hes chasing the deer with the heavy antlers. and now its a match of endurance. deer stamina vs human stamina. this guy is just so pro. not that zm isnt already pro. he owns zm running backwards. so hes tracking and after 8 hours, the deer gets super tired. i mean deers dont carry water bottles in their hide so its probably evaporating. so the guy has almsot got the deer. and hes just carrying a spear. i thot that blunt spear couldnt kill it. i was wrong. they kill the deer not by poking it to death. by tiring it to death. i mean when the deer saw him, it just collapsed on the ground. it couldnt even run anymore. it just flopped down and watched the hunter. and then the hunter poked it. and it died cos one tiny poke would have killed anything running for 8 hours. and then the hunter prayed for the deer and did some ritual and then he got his prey. talk about running 2.4km... i feel nub

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 3:06 PM

today was promethean day. and then it rained. so ironic hor? the god who gave men the gift of fire got drenched by rain. owned. i bet the otehr gods on mount olympus got pissed at him and drenched the day for us. so then the poor prefects had planned everythign out. they brought out this red stage, had chairs lined up behind and got all those ccals to hide behind the podium. it was quite sad lah. the flame got squished but everyone didnt care. we could go back to class early. the problem was that we had p.e. later.

so we all thot there was no p.e. and then there was lor. so we rushed down and the rain somehow magically stopped. u know like stop? but the astroturf was like squishy. so dense that water was leaking out of the turf. and then daniel and wedige started kicking water at me. and now my shoe has died.i was kiking them back and splashing others and now all the water has seeped inside. it smells like OMG stinks. i betted with wedgie to put my sock in his mouth for 1 minute for $5. i mean he would die just bringing it close to his mouth. my sock was gangrenious and soggy. and my shoe was holey. damn. and the last time i spent drying it (after soccer tournament), it took me 4 days. i had stuffed it below my fridge where it was burning hot so now my fridge smells turfy. haiz. i phail at shoe-drying.

but on the goodside, we all did super well during the rehearsals. especially yh and ben. so pro. so maanly if they do this well for wednesday, WE SHALL WIN!!! lololol on second thots, pek watched the plays and said that 2L was total ownage. hmm i think we need more stuff.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:47 PM

haiz i hav to break the sad news to u pple. if u already dont know, NIGEL'S BLOG HAS BEEN CORRUPTED BY SOME EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK!!! yah nige was blogging at macs and forgot to log out. so here comes this EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK and he goes to blogger and suddenly "oooo!" he exclaims! "i hav chanced upon this nice lovey dovey blog which i would love to destroy!" so how does he go about doing it? he goes about putting this disgusting template and then typing all these spastic messages like.... uh crap i cant remember! i should have taken a screenshot before nigel fixed it. well so this EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK in yishun macs has just thought that he was the most EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK alive in this planet, worst then the SPASTIC RED BROCOLLI HAIRED FREAK standing outside macs, when ben liu points out to me at night that hes not really hacking. hes just logging in to some account with a password that was left behind by nige. and after he leaves macs, he would be unable to haxxors nigel's blog and so nige has only been "haxxored" not HAXXORED! the EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK has been owned. zzz by ben's obtuse logic but i agree with it. ALL HAIL BEN AS HE DESTROYS THE EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK'S PLAN TO HAVE TOTAL BLOGGER DOMINATION! so now nige can fix it without the EVIL MACDONALDS FREAK destroying it again. alas, nige is sad cos his hit counter has died so go visit it more!

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 6:56 PM

lololol i was just waiting for the correct answer. AND MATTHEW HAS WON IT!!! its a waffle machine haha. i told u it would be easier. he said metal waffle but i dont care he wins... so he gets a timeout.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:32 PM

sorry i just came home so i hav no time to blog. i shall just post mystery pic 3.



under isaacs never fautlering persistence about how good it is, i hav finally watched little manhattan. yesterday was russell's birthday so i bought him a $1.50 maths plus copy. mr jee will not let the price drop, even when no one bought. damn i should have asked him to autograph all of them so that the price would drop. so he ended up going home with almost all that he came with. but then itt was rus's birthday and so i just felt nice and bought him it. but in exchange, i got isaac's little manhatten disc.

i mean the storyline is not bad. i like the way the boy recounts his entire love experience. hes jsut 11. and so he said in kindergarden, u played with and held hands with girls. in junior high, if a girl touched u, u would get cooties. so it was like a giant iron wall erected between the boys and the girls. but then he met rosemary... blah blah blah. its quite funny about how he falls in love. and so he joins karate class just for her. and he takes the opportunity to go have "karate practices" outside of class. and then they get into all sorts of adventures and yah its quite cliche but its fun to watch it cos its not like those mature romance movies where u watch them and u go like uh... but then u watch this and its mushy but its a very frank view and i actually quite like it. the actor for gabe was quite good and so in the end, he kisses her and then afterwards tells her he hates her and then afterwards tells her he loves her. uh and then i didnt get wat happened later but she just left him to go summer camp. his parents were supposed to get divorced but they get back together in the end. a cliche but fun movie to watch!!! i give it 4 stars haha

and i made this pic a whole lot easier to guess

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 10:56 PM

chey and mchia did their campaign speech, with their slogan to be "Chey and Chia, driving u to greater heights!", driving on cycle and carriage's good name. and amazingly, super coincidentally, on the news tonight, in the stocks, Jardine Cycle and Carriage is one of the top gainers featured in the news (Price: $12.50 SGD ^ 0.30 +2.46% )! LOLOLOL COINCIDENCE! so vote for them! XD

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 10:01 PM

zzz. no one got the timeout or the 5 cent tax rebate. i think my pics are too hard to guess. everyone thot it was a nose when there was one hole only.

and the picture is:
















i shall post an easier pic next time.

yesterday in the dining hall, i was eating these small little mashpotatoes. i was with isaac ken weirong and kenneth and we were sitting with these sec 3 pple. then when i went back to eating my rice, suddenly this guy walked behind me. but i didnt look cos he probably was talking to the sec 3 pple sitting on my right. he was here to kope some food from his frens.

sec 3 [to his frens]: heyyyeh, is he your fren (points to me)?
frenA: uh no
frenB: [chewchew] no lah
sec 3: not arh? aiya nvm one

and then he goes to take some mashpotatoes from my plastic bag. i was like OMG! and then i saw this hand sink into the bag, take out a few and he laughed and walked away munching on them. LOL! i should hav whacked him in the stomach and made him puke all my mashpotatoes out. and isaac was just staring at him in shock and i didnt know until i saw the hand go into the bag. then it was too late.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 4:45 PM

lol as matthew says today is pirate day. xd snickers evil laugh. and my pirate name from (http://www.froggynet.com/cgi-bin/pirate.cgi) is:

Buckaneer Mad Beard

and then i went to another pirate name generator (http://gangstaname.com/pirate_name.php) and i got:

Burnin' Logan Morgan

and then i went to http://www.mess.be/pirate-names-male.php and got:

Voodoo Cruikshank

and my ship is:

THe Screaming Raider

and i thot maybe they were haxors so i typed jonathan lim and it came out completely differnt so i have no idea how they generate the pirate names.

today on the bus, there was a civil defence poster which said "we were here!" and then below it got a lot of signatures in pen. haha its like they dont need to write "we were here" anymore, u just write it below a poster. another time i went up a double decker and there were words written at the back of every seat that read a sentence. i cant remember wat it was. and the most common phrase seen at the back is "for free ***, dial 999" diao.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:04 PM

haiz. the answer to the first pic is out liao. stupid daniel go tell everyone. grr. its a flamingo beak. so no one will get the 5 cent rebate. but the stakes hav increased xd. i hav raised it to a timeout chocolate bar that i got from history lesson. sooooo who wants a try at this super difficult pic?

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:34 PM

today, since i hav just found 5 cents. in my streak of generosity, i hav decided to donate it to our class funds XD. sooooo i hav decided to let whoever who finds out wat this difficult mystery pic is first will get this 5 cent rebate! woot! so u hav a 0.5% discount! wow how nice i am. with my deleting power, i hav made it so hard that u wont be able to guess wat it is. and in case i get sued by u know w(ho) for copywrite infringement, i found this from wiki.

so the first mystery pic is:

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 8:07 PM

i just realised that on my ptm form, my mother wanted to meet mr. gee and ms hana. lol at spelling. and in life!, they said that chij girls are notoriously EASY! lol at wording.

today was the day of digression. during english, ms hanna was talking about IMF. that has nothing related to shakespeare and about rioting and protesting and that the world bank acutally wanted people to protest against them to hear their views. Before IMF, the common swear word was OMFG! after IMF, the most common swear word now is IMFG (I aM Fired Gah!) and she talked about her silent protesting where they would wear shirts and tape their mouth. then for some reason we went into bush's famous quotes.

bushism:

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child"
"It is white." —after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like
"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
"I don't know why you're talking about Sweden. They're the neutral one. They don't have an army."
"I'm the master of low expectations."
"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right."
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!"
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

then she went on to tell us about her japanese pen pal who wrote in her letter that she was coming to singapore and could not wait to have intercourse with her. LOL. i think she used a english translator and actually meant to use the word "conversation". i mean this is soo much worse than engrish.com

during oral comm, mr yeo told us about his wierd fren. i mean this is quite freaky. his fren was actually some math jeenius and then slowly had some mental problems. his fren lost his job and they started providing for him, giving him allowance so that he can buy groceries. instead his fren went to buy plastic sheets and cement to insulate the house. later his fren wanted to knock down a pillar of the apartment. then he whacked a hole in the roof and was peeping into his neightbour's bathroom when his neighbour's daughter was bathing. then the police came in but he did not get arrested as he had some mental problem. later he was given medicine to eat, but since this guy was a jeenius, he read up about the medicine he was eating and so stopped eating it. then later he moved to a flat where he sealed the windows with wooden planks and plastered the whole place. and he even made a denim jacket and baseball cap and lined the inside with metal sheets. he said that he had to do that to prevent the government from shooting him with laser as his metal sheets would deflect it. ??? lol. schizofrenia. and then later he made a jacket out of the inner lining of rubber wheels and wore it for funerals. and when his specs got broken, and they offered to make him new ones, he refused and so made his own by using the old frame and pin-hole method.



and so wherever they went, they would bring thier queer fren around and even though mr yeo said that they were embarrased at being with someone who wore opaque specs with rubber jackets, he said that they never ostracized him. and that is how true friendship should be. his fren died in the stuffy flat of his after police found out that they was a stench coming out of the flat.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 4:58 PM

im sick now and i predict that there would be some more "sick" posts so i shall label it 1sick. thats how i label my emoticons which have more than 1 word like diao, 2diao, 3diao, 4diao, 5diao, 6diao, 7diao...

i think it all started on friday when it was raining. i caught a flu already and was still keeping. and then saifu whack my chest so hard i started coughing. then on saturday morning i had training in the hot sun. and after that i ate kfc! damn kfc! grrr. i ate the stupid fried chicken and got a sorethroat this morning. one that burns through your voice box. haiz. damn kfc. in fact now i think it is no one's fault but kfc!!! grr. :@ so now i hav a runny nose with a slight fever, double eyelids and a stupid throat. i dont think i will go for trainign tmrw. but no one wants to read about boring "sick" posts so i shall stop now.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:48 PM

im sick and tired of kfc. i just blew it today. for the fourth time this week, i hav eaten kfc. and the service sux. to think i ate there 4 times! i think im going to die. today, the only good thing about eating at kfc was because my fren was treating me cos i helped him do something and the bishan gay wasnt there. kfc has the worst service in the world. when i got there, it was completely crowded. i mean there were pple standing up to eat? wow. but good thing we got seats. and then i had 5 pple in front of me which took me 30 minutes! 30 MINUTES! how fast can kentucky fast chicken be? but i went to kfc instead of macs because kfc is nicer plus cheaper plus transfat. then there was this entire family which came to eat lunch- father, mother, grandmother, 1 son, 2 daughters and domestic help. thats a total of 7! in this super crowded place where everyone is squished! thank goodness i was in front of them. i mean how would all of them sit? they should remove that stupid grinning colonel and add more seats outside like macs. i mean wat can the colonel do? not like u press a button on his shirt and he will play music. at least at macs, kids want to take a picture of some spastic red hair guy but who wants to take a picture of an old balding man with a cane? kids are freaked out by canes! and i bought a 2 piece chicken meal at 5.95 and when i get back home, i see this coupon sheet in the mail which has coupons for 3.95 2 piece chicken meal. that really pisses me off.

well back to the humongous family. i think they should hav dabaoed. at least when u dabao, u can eat at home in comfort, not squished like chickens in a can in a small little fast food outlet. so then finally they get 2 tables and guess wat, these tables are far apart. so the poor mother has to run up and down from one table to pass the chicken, back to the other for sauce, the other for napkins and the next for drinks. and this keeps on going. and she almost spilled the drinks. but u cant blame her cos there was no kfc person to help her and she must have gotten frantic. their service totally sux.

then i was eating and these 3 women enter and camp beside my table. i know its alright for them to want to take my table but nooooo their not just camping. they are staring and pointing at my mash potato. i asked them whether they wanted the seats cos we had 2 extra but then they said that they had 3 of them so they could not squeeze. so i said alright and continued eating. and they just stare at my mash potato. this freaked me out. i mean at that moment, i wouldnt hav mind if the gay was there. and they start talking about my mash potato. and my frens couldnt take the pressure and since they were almost done with their meal, they decided to quickly zao. and one of them gives me his mash potato. i mean now i got 2 mash potatoes for them to stare and point at. so i freak out and run out of kfc with chicken smelling hands, 2 mashpotatoes, drinks and my stupid big bag. and my other frens are in macs. so i quickly finish my drink and go to macs. now this is very bad. enterring macs with kfc food. so i pass one mash potato to my fren and we start eating. and the nice service lady comes around. i mean she helps pple find seats, cleans the table, get baby seats, etc and then here she comes and clears our kfc food as well with a smile. at that point i felt like i was the most evil freak! i mean in kfc, u will get killed along with the chickens and they'll make u into popcorn jon at the same price as popcorn chicken. so now i hate kfc to the core.

so if u share my anti-kfc sentiments, go to http://www.openrescue.org/news/kfc.html. here is a website dedicated to bring down kfc cos they think it is cruel. down with kfc! down with their service and their transfat! down with their stoning colonel to make way for seats! zzz. i still think ill be eating kfc soon. but for now, DOWN WITH KFC!

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 6:27 PM

i cant be bothered to blog about the second batch of candidates. most of them were the same except chander threw down the chander ball and everyone was playing with it that chentian went up next and said 2 "hi"s and no one bothered about him lol. cos the chander ball was big and fun.

today was the soccer tournament. zzz. last year was a disaster. we could only play one 10 minute match which we lost to the lousiest class G. it was a draw then there was a penalty shootout and we missed a goal. haiz.

BUT this was different. we could play at least 3 matches! woot. haha. yah we knew we were not going to make it but at least we got to play 3 matches. M, E, H...

The first teaming was me as goalie, yudong and tim as defence, kenneth and joel and weirong as centre-forward or strike and ken as striker. later yudong got subbed for nige.

Our formation:



Highlights of M match:

Some rough sliding by Mark and Kenneth.
2 defenders perma stuk at their position.
Most of the throw-ins were ours.
Attempt 1 by hongfei which almost got in (my bad).
Attempt 2 by mark's long shot which also almost got in (my bad).
Kenneth mispassed and got intercepted by Thomas
Thomas scores at the corner.
Jon feels nub.
Yudong thrusts his pelvis forward and almost scores.
Wasted chance of an open goal.

0-1

Highlights of E match:

jon gets leonards gloves and gets pro aura.
Good interceptions by midfield.
Messy footwork by opponents strikers which freaked jon out.
Attempt 1 by this random guy.
Attempt 2 by zhuo yang who misses and almost stepped on me when i went for the ball. i shall not vote for him.
Small mugger guy scores at left corner cos i was concentrating on zhuoyang. note to self: never concentrate on zhuoyang cos no one passes to him cos he is lousy.

0-1

Highlights of H match:

1 defending Nige who was very good at clearing.
All attack so the ball was on the other half for 65% of the game.
Attempt 1 by weikang who almost gets it in, missing by inches.
Long shot by Saifu that whacks my chest so hard that i hav a bruise on my ahem.
Almost own goal by me XD.
A few attempts by us which were sooo close.

0-0

XD keeping is so fun. and gloves help alot.

random happenings: kenneth tang was sliding so much that all the astro got stuk on him. "im from buckley!" he shouts. then we call him "astro" boy. deoderant gets me high. han, yudong and isaac shout beside the goal "put us in! put us in!". we start kicking our socks around the class and yudong calls it "socker". today was fun.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 6:43 PM

lol. this years prefect electees had to stand in the small claustrophobic podium to give their speech. i msut admit the sec 1s were so much better than us last year. i mean u got barry who promised us solar powered cars? i was like wth!!! this year their mainly decent. i mean it was jsut talk talk and talk so it was kind of boring.

the first guy talked about ants. which was alrite i guess. then the second guy is some ego freak. he said that he was a singapore badminton national player so he knew how to live up to the high standards. EGOOOO! then he flicked a shuttle cock down the podium. the third guy went up talking about adding some spastic interclass quizzes which had to include SPORTS! he say sports must be added in every intellectual quiz cos we must have a balanced life. hmm. that was diao. then there was my junior ken min. he was hugging to the script and reading it word for word. next was this guy who said he could talk 3 languages so he said his speech in 3 languages... next was a guy with a wierd accent and ms hanna was actually laughing. cos he said he turned down to be a prefect in primary skool and blah blah blah and now he is all fired up to serve us because uh i hav no idea. maybe he took drugs or something. the last guy was so pish posh guy who talked in some "refined and sophisticated" type of "i can talk better than u cos i hav this fake british accent". i mean uh so wat? i cant wait for the moses guy. hes super ego too. hes got his own website with all his achievements listed down.

then if u read matthew's blog, he went to target this candidate. i mean its damn bad but his conversation is damn funny.

http://www.freewebs.com/mootixguy/chentian.rtf

its quite evil but still the guy sounds quite sincere.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:05 PM

wahhhh. i completely screwed it up today. i thot it was supposed to talk about a yan3 jiang3 gao3 but its actually an advert.

so it read "good morning class and teacher, i am jonathan lian enyong from 2P and would like to present these 3 stationery: 3 holed hole puncher, 3 holed file and 3 holed paper."

and so this horrible chinese went on... and on... with a few "then"s and also random words like "function" and then YuHsuen kept on laughing nonstop then everyone started laughing cos it was so screwed that Guo lao shi also started laughing. then i was like "gg" then i start laughing too then the stupid camera filmed it all down. im a failure in chinese. i mean i was screwing up so bad in my demo i tore the paper i shouldnt hav torn and i was using so much english. i think ill redo it. and add a new feature: self-defence.

new chinese phrases i came up with:

ying3 yang3 han4 (vitamin han)
jing4 wen2 jian4 jia2 (ken folder)
zi4 wo3 jia1 hui1 (use your own jiahui)
yang2 yu3 hsuen1 gao4 (yuhsuen's announcement)

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 8:20 PM

MUST WATCH!

i just discovered a dancing band called OKGO! they may sound stupid and they dance stupid but its damn pro. i mean their dancing ideas are so cool.

there is the treadmill one where they slide around treadmills.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NINJQ5LRh-0

and they hav the 'million ways' where they do all sorts of lame things and even have a fighting scene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkCfh7ayDms

this one makes u dizzy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y8VFIVXxQw

i wonder who coreographs these dance moves...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:15 PM

i have fixed my post timing. its raining now. and its not a very good end. when my dad was driving me home from church, at church it was raining but at home it wasnt so when we stopped along the highway, one side was raining while the otehr side wasnt. singapore has such small rain clouds...

i dont remember not doing any hw.
i dont remember having enough fun.
i dont remember playing enough softball.
i dont remember why i dont feel so happy now.
i dont remember when i was this bad at gunbound.
i dont remember why an ai could deny me so much.
i dont remember how much money i have lent out without getting back.

post hols depression. i dont... remember whether even having a holiday...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:17 PM

k i dont normally do this kind of stuff but i screwed it up so bad i might as well show u.

Name 20 people you can think of now; don't read the questions till you've named the 20 people.

so i decided to write the first 20 from my class list.

1. abel
2. al
3. matthew
4. weirong
5. kenneth
6. yudong
7. tim
8. jiahui
9. huang wenjie
10. jarrell
11. ken
12. kevin
13. --------
14. daniel
15. zhiming
16. benjamin
17. mark
18. isaac
19. nigel
20. han

How did u meet #14? er i met him in sec 1. hes in my class dammit and is one index number above me and sits with me and has been in my re group for 2 years!

What would u do if u didnt meet #1? erm ill be index number 12?

from this point onwards, i did not know that we needed girls in this list. sorry for anyone who gets offended.

What if #9 and #20 dated? omg. thats like lol han and wedgie! uh no comment about their relationship.

Would #6 and #17 make a good couple? LOL YUDONG AND MARK! yudong would probably nuke himself to death if he found out that mark is his partner.

Describe #3. chubby short and damn funny and spastic NOT

Is #8 attractive? jiahui! yah in the virtual world of the computer realm

Describe #7. nice to be with and lame but good fren

Do you know any of #12's family members? wth! lol uh i dont wnat to know

What would you do if #18 confessed to you? OMG! isaac? if he has a crush on me, he'll crush me!!!

What language does #15 speak? english. chinese and malay. and spastic language?

Who is #9 going out with? how should i know

How old is #16? 14 duh

When was the last time you spoke to #13? hmm when did i last speak to myself. i think like a split second ago...

Who is #2's favourite singer? uh al's favourite singer? no idea. probably some CHInese singer

Would you ever date #4? im not gay dammit. i like some GIRL!

Would you ever date #1? can u stop asking me gay questions!

Is #15 single? i think so

What is #10's last name? ng

Would you ever be in a relationship with #11? FOR THE LAST TIME, IM NOT GAY! he has a bloody girlfren (i knew i shouldnt hav put my class list)

School of #3? RI! hes in my class!

Whats your fav thing about #5? er his handwriting?

Have you seen #1 naked before? >< i dont want to imagine. no offence abel. this whole questionaire is screwed up

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 8:04 PM

then after we did the poster, we got super bored. i mean i bBORED! i just missed a few full rooms and he was bored to so we played minesweeper flags. and i honestly tell u, i didnt noe how to play it properly. ive played it a lot of times but always anyhow click. i meani knew the numbers mean the number of flags but i didnt get how we could find the flags from those numbers. but then after playing wiht him, I HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER! and when u are playing games and talking, its quite funny when u read it. uh this is our random conversation:

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:01 AM

LOL! yah im seriously bored. i was helping timothy with his prefect campaigning and im doing posters for him and maybe his badges. so if u need help with posters, uh ask me to help u, i wont mind XD. and tim's theme is teamwork! (i have to advertise for him for a plate of pasta -__-) so vote for him!

samples:

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:01 AM

lol yesterday was the mov rehearsal. ive got to say everyone did well, except maybe me.

Problem 1: i screwed up big time by not reading ms hanna's email. it said 10! u know wat time i told everyone? 8 30! i mean like wth? who wants to wait for 1 and a half hours in class. i mean wat does a whole class do in 1 and a half hours? i got my answer yesterday. they taupoked jonathans... and threw rugby balls at him...

Problem 2: i went there in home clothes. i mean how would i know we were supposed to wear school uniform? then mrs smith caught zeb in his costume and scolded him but then zeb said he wore uniform to school and then changed to home clothes for his part. whew. hes the only one who did that and she had to ask him! haha so she stopped asking pple.

Problem 3: ben liu wasnt there. i mean he wasnt there for all the rehearsals we had. i cnat blame him. how would he hav known we were having rehearsals during hols? so now we had no actor. so i got nige. i mean nige can act damn well and i hav no idea y he wasnt an actor? pity lor cos he say the class ask him to be art director...

Problem 4: the lighting and sound was so screwed. i mean its not really their fault too. it was their first time in the sound/lighting area so they had to test out the lights. and yudong said that mark was playing on his laptop while he was doing sounds. i mean like wts? no wonder the sound was lagging so much. maybe mark waited until he died to go play the sounds... anyway, then i just found out that mark isnt in sounds at all... its wedgie so now i hav no idea wats happening.

Problem 5: timetimetime. time is always a problem. i mean we had 1 hour exactly. no im serious. no second more. in fact 10 min before we were done, 2Q came streaming in with all their plants and benches and were blocking the lighting people's view. and the actors got distracted.

Problem 6: the cueing was horrible. i mean all the actors memorised their scripts word perfect. its just they forgot when to say that line. so someone would talk... lagggg... uh yuhsuen its your turn... huh? me? oh sorry... [talktalk]... lagggg.... uh yuhsuen its still your line.... and so this went on for all the actors. and some pple didnt know where to stand and all. the second rehearsal was much better than the first but we didnt get to finsih it.

Problem 7: the stage hands got distracted. i mean like i gues they were bored cos they had no idea wat they were supposed to do cos i didnt tell them. haiz. so when i went backstage to check, isaac was pumping. then ken was saying "its not a proper push up" then isaac was "yah it so is lor... lemme see u" then ken do a proper push up and then i come in and "ahem? isaac and ken wat u doing?" then they start saying each other started first. i mean the stage hands must hav been super bored.

aiya no use saying now. AT LEAST MY PIANO EXAM IS OVER AND I QUIT THE STUDIO SO NOW I CAN GO BACK TO PLAYING SOFTBALL!!! WOOT!!! i guess i did alright for my scales and songs but for my sightreading, i completely screwed it up! i mean she gave me 5 shrarps (#) and i was supposed to play in half a minute so i got to the second bar when tehre were at leasst 15 bars and i jsut screwed it up! i mean 5 sharps!!! who gives 5 sharps u ask me? not even the piano pieces for grade 5 hav 5 sharps and this was impromptu!!! but still i cant complain cos im not good at sightreading. haiz and during aural, my voice started breaking apart so i think i failed that too. but its over now AND I CAN GO BACK TO PLAYING SOFTBALL!

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 12:33 PM

the fat duck is a restaurant in britain. and its one of the best in the world cos it uses science in its food! like very whacky ideas. i mean nothing they hav looks like duck... here are some of the wierd stuff they have:

1. SNAIL PORRIDGE- Joselito Ham, shaved fennel

2. NITRO-GREEN TEA

3. ROAST FOIE GRAS- Almond fluid gel, cherry and chamomile

4. SALMON POACHED WITH LIQUORICE- Asparagus, pink grapefruit, "Manni" olive oil

5. POACHED BREAST OF ANJOU PIGEON PANCETTA- Pastilla of its leg, pistachio, cocoa and quatre épices

6. SMOKED BACON AND EGG ICE CREAM- Pain perdu, tea jelly

7. CRAB BISCUIT- Roast foie gras, crystallised seaweed, rhubarb and oyster vinaigrette

8. CAULIFLOWER RISOTTO- Carpaccio of cauliflower, chocolate jelly

9. BALLOTINE OF FOIE GRAS- Jelly of mead and Sichuan peppercorn

10. ROAST TURBOT- Violet sea urchin, mussels, chervil root, verjusTurbot and langoustine royale (Supplement six pounds fifty)

11. GALETTE OF RHUBARB, NEROLI SCENTED YOGHURT MOUSSE- Crystallised coconut and rhubarb sorbet

i mean who adds licorice to salmon? or add nitro to green tea or crystallize seaweed! and they use super big bowls but the food looks good...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 12:24 AM

i hav no idea wat doshing means but i can kind of guess that doshing means tricking cos matthew wrote "ORPHAN"...

anyway i was googling "doshing" and came up with a website. this is super coincidental. the website's url was http://chichester-as.co.uk/articles/opening_nights_part_one.htm LOL i mean like chi chester? LOLOL al chi and chester!!! and matthew was saying chester was "doshing" me... from chichester webbie, i found out that they used "doshing" in terms of fish. "Time slowly slid by as we waited and waited and the fish were still doshing. The pile of empties slowly grew and the fish were still doshing. Dave was trying to reconstruct the Eiffel Tower and was doing quite a good job and the fish were still doshing. " so from here, "doshing" means evading bait? i hav no idea y matthew used that word. hmmm i must ponder...

correction: the (tu) emo came out a while ago

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:44 PM

chester has officially died. no i mean seriously. hes gone brain dead too. i mean that poor guy has been going for so mcuh robotic shit that hes gone robotic. ROBOT. BRAIN DEAD AND CAN ONLY BE PROGRAMMED! when we had rehearsal at his house, he was sleeping barely 4 hours each day. nowadays, hes sleeping barely 2. thats like half the last time? i mean chij is so far away from his house and hes spending a lot of time there doing robotics. hes gone a bit crazy.

note: everything he says is in this super sleepy voice

me: hi chester pls.
chester: huh? who u want?
me: uh chester is that u?
chester: me? im chester? oh yah yah sure
me: uh tmrw can u get to skool by 8 30
chester: **** ive been **** sleeping for less than 2 hours each day and **** in chij and ****
me: uh so can u go tmrw?
chester: do i hav a **** choice?
me: uh no. so ok?
chester: do i hav a **** choise to answer no ok?
me: ok so then u hav to bring...
[voice in background]
chester: wait arh
voice: so do u want mayo in your cornbeef?
chester: uh mayo? NO WAY!
voice: then?
chester: ketchupketchup
[back to phone]
me: u want mayo in cornbeef? (cos i think i heard wrongly)
chester: uh i said that???!!! ****
[voice in background]
chester: i dont want cornbeef!
voice: you dont want cornbeef?
chester: i jsut want mayo. eh wat am i talking??? i want cornbeef not mayo and with ketchup
[back to phone]
me: so uh did tim ask u....
[chester starts spacing out, like spas talk]
me: uh u there? eh u alright?
chester: ya... i went home by 163 today. i mean like im dam dumb lor.
me: 163 goes to your house?
chester: nono i took 59 from chij then took 163 when i mistook it for 93. biang leh. i mean i go up the bus and then i slept then i realise im going somewhere wrong. so i go down ask uncle "eh does this go serangoon?" then the uncle say "no" then i say "how to go?" then uncle say "get down now and cross the road and take 163 back to where u came from" then i say "biang leh" and dropped off. haiz then i cross road take back. then i realise 93 wrong side of road then i cross and take 93 home lor. i mean now i hav exactly $0.00. i mean like biang!
me: uh yah ok... (i was falling asleep myself) so uh...
[he puts down phone]

[i call again]
chester: who are u?
me: uh jon.
chester: omg thats so wierd. i dreamt that i was talking to u like 1 minute ago.
me: uh we did talk.
chester: wts wat time isit?
me: 8 25
chester: omg im going to be late! argh 5 min more. which part of the school are u? meet at LT1 ok? sorrysorry
[puts down phone]
me: wait but its night... (but hes not there to listen)

[i call YET again]
chester: wait lah im going...
me: its nite lah.
chester: ohh its so bright in my house it feels like day.
me: uh rite... so u need to get collared shirt and pants
chester: biang leh pants so tight around my waist. i dont like them
me: then got anything else?
chester: uhhh huh? oh shit i drooled
me: ... are u on msn? cos like i was talking to u and u didnt respond
chester: oh shit im in front of the comp now and i didnt know. i feel sleepy...sleepy...
[chester starts snoring]
me: uh u there?
[chester breathes hard every feel seconds]
me: k nvm be there tmrw k? bye

omg that guy must be wiped out of exhaustion. poor guy.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:27 PM

the croc hunter died cos a stingray jabbed his heart with its evil poisonous tail and it might have killed him instantly. its quite ironic when u think about it. he has trailed dunno how many much more scarier monsters and when he decided to do something for his daughter, he died cos of a stingray that was just swimming by in the coral reef. and that is y u see everyone with the turtle emoticon, that was just released today (tu). i think it was released to commemorate his death.

and i hav come to realise that paris hilton might actually lose a lot more than wat she actually she gains from the sale of her album. i mean u think about it. coloured posters lining the streets of orchard would cost a bomb, not just for printing but the rent. ITS LITTERALLY AROUND THE WHOLE ORCHARD and it was there like 3 months before the release? i mean thats a few million of advertisement. and think about it. its in singapore. i mean singapore is soo puny. then its like half way across the world from the hilton empire. so imagine. if the whole globe was spread with hilton album posters, and note, THIS IS JUST THE POSTERS. imagine how much she spent on tv ads, magazines and even making the albums itself... i mean she squandering the hilton fortune...think about it.... i think hilton has to sell away one hotel everytime she makes an album.

i hav come up with lame shakespeare jokes.

Who created the Globe? Shakesphere

Who was the most terrifying playwright? Shakesphere cos whenever u heard his name, you would shakes in phere (fear).

Why was his wife supposedly the most beautiful lady at that time? Because Shakesphere always told her to shake her spheres (butt).

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 10:01 PM

hols are the wierdest things in the world. i mean u think about it. u wait expectantly for the hols, wishing that skool would disappear cos of all the work and waking up early. then u come to hols and u wake up so late that u dont feel like doing anything. i mean u play so much that u dont want to play. thats just wrong rite? i mean u are supposed to like playing so much. again... i re-emphaisze my point that hols are wierd. i realised that skools hav hols so that when hols come, they want u to dont like hols so that u will like skool. i mean i dont mind skool, with all my frens and softball but then when it comes to playing, i like it too. but then haiz... i hav come to the conclusion that hols are made just so that we can fantasize about them during the school term. they arent all that fun afterall, if u dont get together with your frens. damn hols.

i bet the reason pple came up with the word "holocaust" is cos it has "hol" in it. cos its just so sian lor. then they came up with the word "holler". u know y? cos u do that during hols. and "holocene epoch". i bet u dont even know wat it means. its stands for 10,000 years. cos hols were so looooooooong and boring that it felt like 10,000 years. "hollowness" stands for how sad and empty hols are. and then there is "hologram". it means its something fake but is made to seem real. thats just like holidays when it stops being fun but then pple still pretend that it is actually fun. and the list of "hol" can keep on going. actually this is quite fun. making fun of "hol".

but then again, i would be pissed if we werent given holidays. so i cant complain. i shall pretend this is a "holocaust", "holler" in self-pity while waiting for this "hollow" "holocene epoch" to end. zzz.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:03 AM

lol. i just realised that my posts have wierd timings. i think something is wrong with my blogger timing.

i have mastered the art of sleeping. here are 5 tips to sleeping.

1. dont count sheep! by counting that "thing", in this case "sheep", u will comfirm dream of that "thing". sheepish dreams are the most boring. u go "ladida" and then get all these dreamy heaven fluff. if u want to count, count stuff u want to dream about.

2. eat supper before u sleep! always! it gurantees a nite with a full belly. i mean like pple say when u eat something or laugh before u sleep, u get nightmares? im sure! you'll probably get nightmares cos u dream that u are some poor guy and has nothing to eat and you'll start eating your pillow up. eat stuff like ice-cream cos it gives u brain freeze and u immediately knock out when u sleep. or stuff like pizza with milk but they give u hiccups when u sleep. the worst is campbell soup! it sinks and solidifies at the bottom of your stomach so that when u try to wake up the next morning, theres like this tonne thats stopping u from waking up.

3. there are 5 sleeping positions:

- the potato curl: u hug a bolster or a pilow and curl around it. (caution: u will move all over your bed)

- the chinese torture: u are stretched out completely so that your 4 limbs reach the 4 ends of the bed (this ensures that u dont move but it is least comfortable)

- koper: u stretch out on anything around your aoe, preferably chair, table or bed (might result in injury)

- buddy hug: u sit upright on your bed and slant to one side, stuff your pillow below that armpit and fall straight flat on the bed (ensures that u do not feel lonely at night)

- sardines in a can: u squeeze yourself in one corner of the bed and block the other sides with your pillow (prevents unnecessary movement)

4. try to keep as little things on your bed! at nite when u get a nitemare, u will be flinging everything everywhere, or if u roll around, u will be squishing over these items. this gives injuries that u might discover the next morning but have no idea how u got it.

5. a list of things that can get u to sleep:

- watch black and white movies (e.g. "y the atomic bomb was launched")
- stare at a wall
- get brain freeze
- do so many crunches that your body just refuses to move
- read jon's blog

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:02 PM

as u might hav realised, the more posts jon add, the more posts disappear.
oh no!!! so wat does jon do?
hmm we all wonder.
jon must do something to save these posts!!!
hmm jon wonders...
jon must use his noodle and think fast
each day posts are disappearing
think think think
and BOOM the word "ARCHIVE" came to jon
"i know the word ARCHIVE" jon says
archivveeeeeee
then jon suddenly remembers he deleted the archive part of the template
"oh dear! how stupid of me" jon says
so jon tries to search in his recycle bin
and jon restores the template
and then jon ctrl+f for "archive"
and jon finds archive
and then jon pastes the archive script into his blog template
and this is getting damn boring
but who cares jon needs to save those disappearing posts
then jon republishes the blog
and BOOM it doesnt work!
"y doesnt it work?" jon asks himself
then jon goes to matthews blog
matthew has no archive
jon goes to the abel link
ABEL HAS ARCHIVE
jon is saved
jon views abel's blogs source
jon copies the source and does the whole damn thing again
NO IT DOESNT WORK!!!
"y doesnt it work?" jon asks himself
"ohhh cos it has abel's url init and not mine?!" jon says aloud
jon feels stupid and changes the url
IT WORKS!!!
"i wish lah" jon says
jon goes and creates a new blog
jon tries out all possible combinations for archiving
jon becomes desperate
but nooo, jon doesnt go Al mode
jon remains calm and thinks
jon sees the light

[

Aug

]

they script to solve the disappearing posts
once again, the blog is saved, thanks to jon's noodle

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:51 AM

we went to chester's house today to do the mov rehearsals. i cant say we rehearsed very well. his house is very distracting. first we went upstairs and were playing with the medicine balls and the weights machine. he has this cool chair that thrusts your pelvic upwards to train your abs. and the other 2 pple were playing on the xbox. so after we finally got organised, we went downstairs and suddenly chesters siberian husky was released. its relli cute and has one orange and one silver eye. so we used the chairs as the cars but everyone was kind of distracted and hyper so we took very long.

anyway so we all became bored cos chester was upstairs playing so we were reading the script and then when matthew said "unless he be lenient and spare u this once, then it will be a heaven sent bunce" and then in the background someone was singing "mai hum" and then i suddenly thot of "mai bunce" but then we changed it to "mai buns" which means "my buns"! so like now mr lian has come up with a song "mai bun".

mr lian's podcast:

[to the tune of "my humps"]

[all the "bracketed words" are sung by the lead girl in black eyed peas]

i will say, char siew bao mai bun
i will say, char siew bao mai bun
mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun
"mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun"
mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun
"mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun"
mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun
"mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun"
mai bun mai bun mai bun
"my heaven sent"
bunce
And its just not all fun and food
We want everybody to be eating the same bao
mai bun mai bun mai bunmai bun mai bun mai bun
"my heaven sent"
bunce
And that is the way it should be in the char siew bao age
mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun mai bun
eating kok mai bun mai bun

lol. mr lian's first podcast.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 2:21 PM