i realise that ive been posting on a daily basis. so read everyday! :)

today was teacher's day. we were supposed to get our teachers something. at first, we were planning to get deoderant for her, or some grammer book because her engrish is so prefect. for ms hanna, they were planning to give her some anger management course or some trip to a relaxation spa. i mean these gifts are quite insulting except for the spa one. then we decided to come up with a class movie. another one. but this was a failure. completely. we had mov to do, ccts were on and we had just no time. so 2 days back, i asked mark to buy cake for them. and so now u hav it. 2 small slices of cake for $4.60. wow, its like so cheap? but heck. ive seen this thin slice of cheescake that cost $4.50.

ruggers are wierd. well maybe only some. we were at the atrium for the teacher's day programme. so isaac tells me to warn him when a teacher passes by cos he was lying completely flat on the ground sleeping. then suddenly david pop out of no where. and he goes "wazza!" and pokes isaac in the stomach and isaac immediately jerks up. dont ever piss isaac off when hes sleeping. so isaac goes "what u do that for?" and then they go cat fight. david starts flicking isaac and isaac go defence mode by rebounding the flicks. i mean its quite funny. u see these 2 big guys, 1 flicking super pain and the other trying to grab the other guy's hand without getting flicked. "stop it lah" isaac says cos hes going rage mode and then david starts flicking faster. then soon they playing mercy. some ruggers are wierd.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 4:26 PM

today i will tell u the freakeist happenings in my life. completely wierd.

han and i went to nigel's house today in woodlands to do the poster. i mean woodlands is quite far from the heartlands but its bustling with acitivity too. after that, i had to go for softball training. so han and i went to the mrt and we saw that the one to marina bay had just left so we were planning to buy more squid heads at old chunky. and then comes this guy. hes a student i think. so he walks up to han and talks in chinese, holding this clipboard with something like People's Association on it. and like i was asking han wats its about and then the guy starts talking to me.

note: all in chinese

him: eh do u think $10 is worth a lot to you?
me: uh alright lah
him: well blah blah blah (talks about some stuff i dont even understand)
me: uh ok?
him: u hav money now?
me: uh not really cos i dont have any to spare (note i had our class funds and $3 which was mine)
him: are u sure? like got $10?
me: sorry i cant. i owe pple money some more.
him: aiya only $10, oi $2 also can, give lah
me: uh i dont hav much to spare (i mean $3-$2 is $1!!!)
him: eh come on leh these kids very sad. i dont care, show me your wallet!
me: uh wts? uh dont leh
him: i dont care open now, i help u take out the money
me: uh dont want.
[then i start walking away]
him: NI2 GEI3 WO3 ZHAN4 ZHU4! stand there and look at me straight in the eyes.
me: ????
him: turn around and look at me. let me see inside your wallet
me: i dont want (cos he will see the class fund and take it)
him: now show me now! [starts walking towards me]
me: eh i dont want. we are in a hurry. come on leh let me go
him: open your wallet lah! y so scared?
me: uh byebye i got no time
him: NOW! NI2 GEI3 WO3 ZHAN4 ZHU4!
me: [about to run away]
some random guy: [talks to him] eh take it easy lah! let him go [talks to me] eh just go, if u dont hav then nvm.
me: YAY!!! [and then i zao with han]

i mean all this time han is just stoning there while that guy flames me!!! its quite freaky if a guy asks u to open up your wallet and let him take out the money. i didnt even understand wat i was donating to. he asks for $10 immediately. oh man freaky.

i mean its like all these kind of pple always talk to me. the other sunday, got this guy on the bus who was sitting wierd. then he suddenly tap my shoulder when i was walking by to sit. he ask me for my handphone. ive been watching many of those type of shows where the guy asks u for handphone and zaos with it. so i wasnt holding my handphone. it was somewhere deep in my softball bag. so i said, "uh i dont hav it on my body rite now". i know its lying but i was quite scared. his speech was slurred and he passed me this letter with some number at the bottom and ask me to call it. and he was talking some foreign language with some chinese mixed into it. so then i say sorry and sit at the back. then the next guy walk passed and lent him his handphone. i kind of felt bad cos i think the guy had some urgent matters and i lied! haiz. y do strangers always ask me these kind of freaky things...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 8:48 PM

i have not checked my mail for like 1 week? and ive got 452 spam mail: stuff about (selling sick stuff), ads about freebies, scams, and some stocks thingamjigs... i mean they can think up all these stuff. it relli amazes me. thank goodness gmail has such a good spam filter that nothing spam gets through and they even came up with a one click delete all spam! NUKE THE SPAM!!!

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 10:55 PM

the last post had some problems so i stopped at the word "crimewatch" which is totally wierd. i just republished it to finish up the post.

today i got hit by a shuttlecock. its light, fluffy and completely shuttle-like but it hurts as bad as someone throwing a marble at u. its like a softball and a baseball. baseball hurts more cos the size is so small and then it just targets this small area so the pain is focussed in that area. a shuttlecock has the same effect as a marble. my fren batted the shuttlecock right at my lips and then my teeth hit the lips when it rebounded so now my lips are swollen. but after icing for an hour, the swell is almost gone cos the lip is the easiest part in the body to get injured and to heal. my senior got hit by a shuttlecock in his eye and went half blind for a while. ouch!

yudong just reminded me of nuking so this is a controversial pic i just found. i have no comments because i live in singapore and am a neutral citizen who wishes not to be involved in the conflict of the middle east and the west.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:49 PM

k i linked everyone who i noe who blogs now, which isnt like more than 10? i dont know. no one seems to be blogging nowadays, i guess cos they get bored. i mean once u dont know wat to write, u just get bored, and then your blog lags and lags and

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... until u cant even see your first post. and then pple start spamming your tagboard and then soon u just delete it.

i finally realised how far rjc field is to j8. its BLOODY FAR! u know like FAR? like macritchie far! first u walk these billions of kilometers winding through the drains, canteen, classrooms and then finally u see the junior block construction site. after that, u turn left and then u reach the guard house. now the next part is like walking along the highway of lornie road. its like u see a bus stop then u walk and u tell yourself that "aiya not so far" then your throat tells u "aiya im bloody thirsty" then your body inside tells u "AIYA MY BLOOD IS BLOODY HOT!" and then u realise that it is so far away. and when u walking with so many pple u start to walk into each other and no one is talking cos we are lugging these heavy equipt. and then im thinking ive got piano later "aiya got aircon" and then u realise how hot it is and then u start to walk faster and bang into your frens. its the road of perpetual "aiyas". and then finally when u past the second bus stop, and feel good, u smell the rubbish dump. its seroiusly like macritchie lor, bus stop by bus stop. then i finally u see the junction and u are so happy and crossing the zebra crossing this car honks at u. then your ear will say "aiya cant u let us cross the road peacefully?" and when the green guy starts flashing your eyes says "aiya cant you let me cross the road without seeing evil?" (ok that was lame...) and then u hav to walk beside the shop houses and then u see the new library that is a few months late in opening. (sidenote: uh why hasnt the bishan library opened?) and then finally u see long jon silver. and u reach j8... to see the BLOODY BISHAN GAY STARING AT U!!! k im not going into that again. so u see how long the walk is? its... aiya i dont talk liao.

anyway im sick of kfc. we went after skool on friday to go eat. then i shared a buddy meal with weirong, and while queueing up, saw this handphone sock and bought it. AND IM NOT GOING TO TELL U WHO I BOUGHT IT FOR... so then im now 6 pple behind when i rejoin the queue. do u know wat is dejavu. its super freaky like when i dreaming then the next few days u see something of the same sort. its relli cool but it freaks u out. and that same day at nite, i was eating something and somehow crimewatch was on and then i see the guy who was standing in front of me in the queue on tv!!! as the bad guy so i was like OMG!!! its freaky. then i go sit down and good thing i was sitting opposite the bishan gay so i couldnt see him then everyone started laughing and i turn around to see bryan, some rugby captain talking with the bishan gay. i mean thats damn funny lor. then isaac say he even arm wrestle with the gay before lololol. i mean the gay is touching your hand! next time he stare at me i go up to him and say "aiya stop staring lah, u want to arm wrestle, COME LAH!!! touch my hand all u want!!!" then hopefully he freak out and zao at the next stop. aiya...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 6:19 PM

blogger was down yesterday.

ive been playing dota like the whole day and my eyes feel like crap zzz.

today was the first day i worethe catcher's armour and went catching in a match. the whole set is totally wrong. first i wore the scallop leg armour and they were like so loose and rigid. then i wore the chest vest which was the only thing that fit. then i wore on the cute little backwards helmet and then put on the face mask, the rotten squishy thing. and it tasted like shit. i think the rotten part is not supposed to go into your mouth but then somehow the fluff went inside and i couldnt breathe cos it was super sick. then i couldnt see right too and when the ball flew past me, i didnt see properly and picked up the ball on the floor instead of the ball rolling away from me. k i screwed up big time but i got 2 outs from one 3 strike tag and a throw at a stealing runner. next time ill use the power ranger helmet instead of the rotten fluff.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 6:14 PM

ive just found out that my parents are going out together and they are not going to be home over the weekend! i dont know whether its going to be a good thing or a bad thing. last time they went away, my brother and i were put up with my aunt. BUT IT WAS SUPER COOL THERE! as in she just bought that house and it was like 3 weeks old? so we went and and everything is like super new. and its quite sad she had me stay in her house. i feel really bad now.

Things that i did wrong in her house:

1. i walked into the room with cup noodles. i was studying and eating. i bent down to pick up the shou ce that i dropped and BOOM the cup noodles spilt. the noodles destroyed the stylish tiling while the soup destroyed the bed.

2. i ate up all her food supplies. shes got 5 growing boys and 1 growing girl. i take it that i count for 2 growing boys. so she has to go shopping for food every 2 days! i think i burned a hole in her pocket.

3. i drank up all the bandung. bandong. bundong. watever u call that drink. there was so much and it was really cold and nice and then i just realised i drank it all up. woops

4. i dropped her hair drier. on her stylish tiling in the toilet.

5. i had a pillow fight with my cousins that ended me wheezing and she freaked out cos she thought i needed medication (btw her husband is a blood doctor)

6. i was sitting on the window ledge playing the computer and this one made her freak REALLY BAD!!! she was like [opens door] "Jon uh can you... JON WAT ARE U DOING THERE? EH UH TAKE YOUR TIME TO COME DOWN! THE LEDGE VERY DANGEROUS! HOW COULD YOU..." so that was really bad of me.

7. i was playing around witht he nice pebbles outside the door. and she thought the neighbour was playing with it.

8. something happened to the printer. k this was just wierd. i switched it on, printed it and boom it died.

9. i lost 3 tennis balls for her. one day, my cousin and i went to the court to play tennis. her condo is in the Shelford area. now this area is really amazing cos somehow they managed to cramb 7+ condos along this shelford road which goes deep inside bukit timah. so like theres this condo called Shelford Cove, the next one called Shelford Heights etc... so hers is all the way in so then we were playing tennis. and i accidentally hit 5 over to the other Shelford thingummy condo, which sadly hit the guard house. so i sneaked into the back gate of the Shelford thingummy condo to try pick up the balls. i found 2 in the bushes and then i saw 3 placed neatly along the side of the road. just as i was about to reach there, this security guy comes out, and i freak out and run away.

i think thats y my parents dont want to suggest living with relatives again. but she wouldnt mind. she always asks me to come over. im a super bad nephew. talking about nephew, i have ONE!!! woot. but then hes older than me. i mean like im the youngest child in my family. most of them are now like 18+? cos my dad is the youngest on his side and my mum is the youngest on her side so now im the youngest on all sides. and so my cousin, who happens to be the daughter of my aunt who is the oldest on my dad side happens to have a son who happens to be older than me, which makes me the uncle. XD

so im still wondering wat to do when my parents are away...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:16 PM

Darth Vader's girlfren

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:25 PM

this is damn farni: http://media.libsyn.com/media/mb/tmbs-060822-a_harmless_podcast.mp3

clam is humful so dont eat it...

anyway the bishan gay is the bloodiest gay i have ever known in my life. i just realised that the reason he takes 156 is cos it is the only bus that links RI to Chinese High, J8 to King albert park. Apparently, these are the places where he gets the highest influx of uh boy students. whenever i past by him at kfc, he gives me the shivers.

A while ago, maybe a month or 2 back, i realised he was trailing me. i had just left kfc and he stood up and started following me. i was like "ok lor! follow then follow. COME LAH!!!" so then he just waited at the bus stop, staring at me the whole time. i was quite irritated. then 156 came i and kind of knew he was going to take it. so i went up and sat behind this group of boys. and the bishan gay, i mean hes so gay that he must sit opposite u and stare at u. so i was sitting and these boys were blocking his view so he leaned forward to try to peak at me. then he got pissed and moved to the seat beside me. this relli freaked me out. then this girl she sat in between me so he moved to the seat behind me. i could feel his gay breath breathe on me. SICK! now everyone was staring at me cos they were wondering why he was staring at me. i alighted at some ulu bus stop. AND HE FOLLOWED ME DOWN! i mean normally he just stares at me and when i leave, he just sits on the bus, staring out of the window at me. BUT THIS TIME HE WENT DOWN WITH ME! so i just sat on the bench. next to me were these old pple so they did not really care about him. but i mean its quite obvious hes staring at me when he stands facing me, his back towards the road. its quite obvious that he is not planning to flag a bus. so i waited for 20 minutes before 186 came. i knew he wouldnt dare take this bus. i mean, i bet he hasnt even seen this bus in his life. so i walked up and just when the door was closing, he quickly squeezed through and growled at the bus driver. then he sat opposite me, leaning forward to stare at me. i mean now its so gross and freaky. and he doesnt even know where he is going? what a loser. so then every stop, he panics and looks out of the window to see where we are going. now its my turn to smile back at him cos hes lost. OWNED. but when i smiled, he gave me that sick grin and inched forward. so the next stop i quickly dropped and thank goodnesss he didnt go down with me. the KFC guy just got removed. i hope he goes and replaces the KFC guy's spot.

i'll have to add the links this weekend. now im quite busy doing worksheets.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 9:07 PM

WARNING: do not read newspapers while pooping or u might just fall in...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 8:57 PM

now class 2P is in some deep shit. apparently, the project (right on top of Person J) has a screwed up bulb. so now that the $480 broken bulb blew, someone has to take responsibility. Here is the list of suspects:

Person A - likes to play soccer
Person B - likes to play marbles
Person C - likes to throw paper plane
Person D - likes to shoot very pain rubber bands
Person E - likes to destroy stuff using flying objects
Person F - likes to stand on tables holding something dangerous

Projector blew up on Friday morning.

WHY?

Because of wat happened on Thursday afternoon...

After assembly when everyone was away, Mrs Yak entered the classroom. BOOM and the door opened. Her steps resounded throughout the whole classroom. Swinging a key with one finger, she walked slowly towards the console. "Click click.." and then suddenly 2P burst through the doors to see Mrs Yak busy using the comp. "ohh uh so those who are adding their RE presentations paste it on the desktop now." mostly everyone left, leaving Nigel's group on the floor doing their rolling ball. Person B was there. Person A had his ball confiscated so he zao too. Person C was not allowed anymore paper from Jon's desk. Person D uploaded his ppt and left with Persons WXYZ. Person E took his bag, started in bersek mode and ran out of the class with Person F, who also went bersek mode and left to take 156. After awhile, Mrs. Yak left the class. The class was quiet except for the console which was still on and the rolling balls. Then Person Q came in... they came in great numbers, outnumbering the rolling balls. They stormed towards the console, clicking non-stop, switch on the project (that was still working perfectly). Person Q started having rehearsals with the projector and muchmuchmuch later... after even the rolling balls left... Person Q left noisily after 5, leaving 2P as quiet as ever, the projector permanently off...

Who is person Q?
Why was person Q in our class?
Why did person Q take so long to use the computer?
Why was person Q the last person to use the projector?

Next morning, Person L entered the class and went L-mode. WHY ISNT THE PROJECTOR WORKING? Person L happens to be the IT rep.

So the question remains... who killed the projector? Why and what's the reason for?

Information was given by a very reliable eye-witness.

Note: Any relation to characters in real life might just be a coincidence

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 8:00 PM

k i completely screwed up my performance class yesterday but i didnt feel like talking about it yesterday. peformance class is like when the principal of the studio has to hear you and when theres so much tension that u can hear everyone's heart beating like a flabby frog bouncing on a gong. so i go there and she's scolding the group before me and i just freak out cos normally i just choing practising immediately after i come home. so i practised for like 2 bloody hours straight. and inside is so damn cold and then u got goosebumps and these tingly shit in your spine (i dunno wats its called) so then i just walked in and everyone was freaking out so i freaked out too. then she released them and came to my group. i hav no idea why she likes my group so much. probably cos there are all these cute small kids taking the exam. btw she has like 5 kids lor. so most of them are quite good and then she says "jonathan" and thats it! BOOM and my heart kind of like dieded. ive done this like millions of times and ive never been so freaked out in my life. i dunno y so i jsut went up to the piano.

She: uh play your scales... [talks with someone beside her while im freaking out]
Me: like which one?
She: oh um... [flips] F flat melodic minor
Me: uh ok
[then i screwed up a bit but it wasnt too bad]
She: arppegios uh dominant 7th [something i cant remember]
[i played that fine too with some slips]
She: ok u can start your pieces

k by then i was like dying liao. i had never felt so much piss in my bladder. i just went to the toilet before it lor and now my bladder was bursting. i played my first song and it felt like my fingers went numb? i dunno the feeling. like i was so nervous that i didnt feel anything. then i kept on making so many bloody errors which i normally dont. i mean ive played that song 1 billion gazillion times without thinking and now im struggling to remember wat note is next and im screwing up cos my fingers are liek screwed.

Me: [suddenly stop playing] i cant do it! i dont know wat is wrong wiht me today. can i like come back and play later?
She: y wats wrong? air-con too cold? nah i ask my daughter help you lower aircon
Me: dont need lah
She: piano too slippery arh?
Me [wiping piano with shirt]: yah but its got to do with my pee. i relli need to go to the toilet.

SHE STARTS LAUGHING LIKE SHE HAS NEVER LAUGHED BEFORE! i mean like wts i bet this is the first time she has seen a student screw up so bad and then now he wants to piss and shes laughing as though its so damn funny while im freaking out there. but i dont mind. i was surprised she didnt scold me. so then i went to the toilet and when i came back, a few more kids played and then she said i didnt need to play anymore. i prayed damn hard in the toilet AND SHE DIDNT EVEN SCOLD ME! i still cant believe it cos she is relli fierce. i think im going to hav a nervous breakdown...

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 11:34 PM

hi everyone. ive just deleted my old blog that was last dated donkey years ago and i got bored one nite playing dota so then i decided to have a blog again! so yah... uh i dunno wat to say. i havent been blogging about my life much and there is quite a lump to say. uh i picked hot potato cos like I LIKE THE NAME AND NO ONE SHOULD EVER STEAL IT (HINT TO MARK!!!) and i use it as my nick sometimes and this guy has already picked hot potato so heck im going with very hot potato cos like very is better than just hot.

The potato (Solanum tuberosum) is a perennial plant of the Solanaceae, or nightshade, family, commonly grown for its starchy tuber blah blah blah...

"boiling", indicating that they retain some shape when boiled
"baking", indicating that they only hold their shape if baked
"roasting", indicating good flavor when roasted
"salad" to indicate suitability for salad use (often firm and waxy-fleshed when boiled)
"mashing" to indicate that when mashed they form a smooth consistency, neither fibrous nor grainy

my favourite species of potato: Russet potato- large, brown skin, white-fleshed while my classmate (same name)- small, pale skin, thick-fleshed so that resistant to scratches.

hot potato is a game played where you have this random object and then everyone passes it around and the music plays on and when the music stops, then the guy with it is kicked out. so it just keeps on going until there's only one guy left.

hot potato is also know as hot box. Hot box happens when there is a runner and he leaves a base. 3 fielders are involved in the play. Preferably, the 2 baseman and 1 guy standing in between. For example the runner is in the middle of 2 and 3. baseman on 2 has the ball. he throw to baseman on 3 and run to 3. baseman on 3 throws the ball to shortstop and runs to 2. shortstop throws to baseman on 3 and runs to 3. baseman who WAS on 2 who is NOW at 3 throws to baseman who WAS on 3 who is NOW at 2 and then runs back to 2. and this goes on until the runner gets so bloody tired that he tio tagged out.

so yup thats the origin of my blog name.

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 3:41 PM