lol. i just realised that my posts have wierd timings. i think something is wrong with my blogger timing.

i have mastered the art of sleeping. here are 5 tips to sleeping.

1. dont count sheep! by counting that "thing", in this case "sheep", u will comfirm dream of that "thing". sheepish dreams are the most boring. u go "ladida" and then get all these dreamy heaven fluff. if u want to count, count stuff u want to dream about.

2. eat supper before u sleep! always! it gurantees a nite with a full belly. i mean like pple say when u eat something or laugh before u sleep, u get nightmares? im sure! you'll probably get nightmares cos u dream that u are some poor guy and has nothing to eat and you'll start eating your pillow up. eat stuff like ice-cream cos it gives u brain freeze and u immediately knock out when u sleep. or stuff like pizza with milk but they give u hiccups when u sleep. the worst is campbell soup! it sinks and solidifies at the bottom of your stomach so that when u try to wake up the next morning, theres like this tonne thats stopping u from waking up.

3. there are 5 sleeping positions:

- the potato curl: u hug a bolster or a pilow and curl around it. (caution: u will move all over your bed)

- the chinese torture: u are stretched out completely so that your 4 limbs reach the 4 ends of the bed (this ensures that u dont move but it is least comfortable)

- koper: u stretch out on anything around your aoe, preferably chair, table or bed (might result in injury)

- buddy hug: u sit upright on your bed and slant to one side, stuff your pillow below that armpit and fall straight flat on the bed (ensures that u do not feel lonely at night)

- sardines in a can: u squeeze yourself in one corner of the bed and block the other sides with your pillow (prevents unnecessary movement)

4. try to keep as little things on your bed! at nite when u get a nitemare, u will be flinging everything everywhere, or if u roll around, u will be squishing over these items. this gives injuries that u might discover the next morning but have no idea how u got it.

5. a list of things that can get u to sleep:

- watch black and white movies (e.g. "y the atomic bomb was launched")
- stare at a wall
- get brain freeze
- do so many crunches that your body just refuses to move
- read jon's blog

Jonathan Lian blogged @ 5:02 PM